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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?